problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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