Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
