I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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