just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize