We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
