Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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