ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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