a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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