i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The power of my boobs compel you
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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