They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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