We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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