i don't like sucking hair
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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