Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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