I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My feet surprised me
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