just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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