2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
