Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
