your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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