once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
