We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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