ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
