it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we're making bets on your personal life
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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