Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
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I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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