my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
