where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
