I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
