I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize