Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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