Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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