Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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