I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize