Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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