For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
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just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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