Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My vagina is officially offended.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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