So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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