Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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