can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize