I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize