Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
