there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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