There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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