marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
