No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize