Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
