Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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