He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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