were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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