yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
