I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
