you're like a bully in the Christmas story
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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