You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize