In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
