I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
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Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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