She's JV to your varsity
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
