dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
