sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
