dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
