You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
