she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
