What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
