dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Randomize
