U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
