after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
FUCK WHALES
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
