Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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