I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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