Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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