This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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