she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
