i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I need to sanitize my soul.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
