Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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