Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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