I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
