Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right