Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other

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(636): View more from Missouri

It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me

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(636): View more from Missouri

i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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(519): View more from Ontario

He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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(716): View more from New York

It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.

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