Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!

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(713): View more from Texas

I looked at my own cervix.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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(410): View more from Maryland

I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.

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(512): View more from Texas

The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning

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(214): View more from Texas

I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I have a black eye again and dont know why again

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.

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